It's Time for the Monsters to GO!!!

I know that the monster motif is very popular right now and has been for ages.

I know that in literature, monsters have been used at a metaphor for everything from coming of age, to having serious social issues, to mental and physical differences in races and genders.

I know that monster is a term that is purely relative except that it is always negative.

But this writer's opinion is, I HAVE HAD ENOUGH MONSTER LOVE STORIES!!!

How many of you all have heard the story of the Frog and the Scorpion? Too old fashion? What about the Gloomy Bear back story? One of my favorite stuffed presents is a large, pink bear who's arms are wrapped around a human boy's neck and who's face and claws are dripping blood.

The story of the Gloomy bear is that as a cub it was found by the little boy named Pitty. At first the cub is cute, as most baby animals are, but soon it grows up and begins mauling his beloved human. Why? BECAUSE HE IS AN ANIMAL! A BEASTIE!! A MONSTER OF UNUSUAL AND TERRIFYING PROPORTIONS!!!

Therefore, can we please stop with all the Bite-Me-You-Saintly-Vampire and the Careful-With-the-Claws-You-Hairy-Hunky-Werewolf? Please? By all rights these superior beings are monsters and could only truly interact with humans in three ways.

1) Obviously a food source is the first option that comes to mind. Your bodies are fatty making our blood rich and our muscles tender and juicy.

B) Keeping a human as a pet is also a wonderful option. While our limited lifespans mean we never grasp existence in the same immortal, everlasting, pattern-of-the-cosmos kind of way, our limited and simple reasoning and lifestyle should prove amusing. Also, immortal beasties show none of the qualms we have against eating one's pet should the need arise.

And option *) If you are really, really interesting and not very annoying, you may be chosen to join their ranks. Pets are often either invited or given this option when their needs get the best of them and then it's all, "Oops, didn't mean to get so bitey, but hey, now you'll live forever!"

Not sure about the rest of mankind, but with out mortality and the looming fear of death, how am I supposed to enjoy life and strive to live it to the fullest. Without the fear of death where is the thrill of skydiving and the joy of a moment of serenity?

Oh my immortal beloved, we'll spend eternity in each other's arms doing anything and everything you could never even dream of. I'll never change and you'll never change and we shall enjoy each other till we get bored with each other or life and decide to end it ourselves.

Blargh! I am not that needy. Give me a few meaningful moments and that will be enough love for a lifetime. I am more than positive that if I had to spend all of my time with anyone I would end up either hating him or killing him.

So please remember, if you stick a sheep and a lion in the same room the lion just might gaze upon the sheep, caress the sheep, love the sheep, but it will definately kill and eat the sheep.